you look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel

Many exciting things have been happening ever since A levels ended, and i haven't been home much. I've decided to stay at home today because I just really want to chill, watch and maybe write something, and possibly go for a run or skip later - depending on how the weather want to cooperate. Below are a series of visual and word vomit from events in the past week / few days. 

M and I marked our 3 years on the 13th of nov! Right smack in the middle of As. Thankfully though it was on the week where he only had math paper while i had nothing!!! Had tuition in the morning and dinner @ PS Cafe after. I've gone there before and hence, i ordered the same thing - LAKSA SPAG!! it was not too bad :-) We also ordered truffle fries to share, and M had some chicken thing for himself which he completely regrets because of the small portion and the mediocre taste. The truffle fries was good though, worth all the money :-) 

Later on, we ventured over to ION and went to take some pictures with the lovely Christmas lights. Also got some llaollao after and that was good. 

Here's to the loveliest man I've ever set my eyes on. I only wish the best for you and for us and may the days ahead shine almost as brightly as you do :-) 

Following that chill week, was a week that is packed with 4 tiring papers :-( the thought of it was intimidating to say the least and i was really dreading it :-( as much as that is so, I am also very excited for it to end because after that, i will be pretty much a free bird! Took some pictures with M at the river on the Sunday before crazy week :-D

Lucky for me, though, crazy week wasn't as crazy as i had expected it to be HAHAHA it was actually manageable (i guess) and it flew past! It was just one after another and another and another, and before i could keep track the week was over!! Week 4 also flew by in a jiffy and before i know it, i am walking the white bridge for the very last time :-( 

That morning was bitter sweet i must say, 2 years passed by so quickly. I would not pay to do it all over again, and am glad that i made the most out of my 2 years here. I would not change anything, because everything happened the way it did for me to grow as a person and to learn, and see things that i would never have had :-)

Met the crew for dinner and drinks after! Met Cherie at about 4 to shop for her prom stuff first and it began as a disaster because she couldn't find anything, or she was just being her usual picky self :-P managed to get something (FINALLY) from FEP and Ryan also tailored a suit for himself. Went over to Liang Court after and had some Jap food which i didn't eat because none of it appealed to me :-( bought a little butter bread that tasted SO MUCH like naan later on @ Duke bakery though! The bread there are so overpriced but i guess it is worth it :/

Headed over to good ol' trusty stickeys again after and had a hell load of fun :-D

Also had BKT at night.... and Uber-ed home after with Sam, ryan, ranje and cherie!!! 

I conked out immediately when i got home at about 4am and had to get up at 8am to get my dress fitted for prom :-( made the decision to meet Di & co after and i have no regrets though it really tired me out :-( Went shopping (I didn't get anything!!) and talked with Clarissa for about an hour or so after the other 2 left :-) I loooove chatting with clarissa because she always gives me a fresh perspective on things hehe 

Had work during the weekends and i earned $200 which i used to buy some clothing and a pair of chucks that i intend to use for power lifting :-D Did that with Kane and M. Was supposed to only meet M but Kane casually tagged along for the whole day and i felt like stabbing him in the stomach... but it's okay his company made the day really funny too.... i guess.... HEHE i guess impromptu plans are the nicest :-D 

Shall blog about prom another day because this post is getting FAR too long... :-D 

Just watched submarine and it was such a nice and different take on very very ordinary themes like love and growing up... and would consider it as a 10/10 reco for people that are interested in this sort of stuff :-) Probably going to write something now, and pack my room too. It has been the biggest mess for the longest time and i have to do something about it :-P 

Stay well, and stay safe! X 

FREE

Hi guys! A levels have finally ended... OMG I CANT BELIEVE IT! 

It has been a good 2 years with SAJC, a good year of intense studying and a good 3 weeks of intense exams. I can't say i will do it all again, but i am thankful for the experience and the skills that i have acquired as a result :-) 

Now that the exams are over, there are SO many things that i want to do! As of yesterday (26/11), i have made sure that i made use of post As to the full!!!

1. Lunch with M at fish and co, but he still has a paper today and i am sure everything will go super well for him! 

2. Dinner and drinks with my pals 

3. Fixed my comp that had broke down since BT2 

4. Tried my dress for prom 

V devastating because the dress was a tad bit tight for me, which means that i have gotten fatter in the course of A levels.. ITS OK though because i believe it's just my stomach and a tad bit of cardio should do the trick :-) There are also SO many things that i want to do/get, and here's a few off the top of my head: 

1. CAMERA!!!! / CAMCORDER! I really wna start a youtube channel to just document my daily life because i think it'll be so nice to look back at the good old times

2. TRAVEL! with friends or family (though there isn't really a difference between the 2 in my opinion :-) ) planned a few trips already and one of it include going to Sam's hometown in Jan hehehe i am very excited!!! Can't wait to see what it is like in Msia :-P 

3. See/meet people! I really wanna use this opportunity/break to meet and learn new things and more about people.. hehe thinking of doing an internship at Barclays or smth HAHA but i am being discouraged about it because of the bad pay / lack of experience... but i think going into these places will open up my perspective and provide good learning opportunities... hmmm im not sure yet though, shall think more about it :-) 

4. WATCH MOOOOOOVIES! there are so many movies that i wna watch / have not watched and i just want to catch up on all of them.

Because i love the number 4, i shall stop here. there are more that i will defo add unto this list but that is for another time. Currently still feeling a little whoozy because of yesterday and i am going out in the noon to meet Dione and co :-) and M for dinner after his paper! Exciting times are ahead and i am beyond excited :-) 

X

2 days

Spoke to a friend yesterday and he opened up my perspective to a number of things. I have come to a realization/conclusion/understanding (for myself) that examinations do not exactly matter as much as what you have learnt from it; the process, the skills, the thinking, the knowledge. It is a much repeated cliche but i guess it is true when they say that a cliche remains because of the water that it holds. Singaporean youths are indeed unable to think better --- I had fallen into that too. Truth be told, i had been stressed for the A levels as i feel this compelling need to do better than i expect myself to. I understand that because it is a national assessment, the marking scheme etc will not be as ridiculous as i expect it to be. However, however much i tell that to myself i am so afraid that i will unintentionally let my guard down :-( maybe that's why i've stopped thinking since. 

The whole syllabus has been; nothing short of a propaganda tool because of the Singaporean context that has been present in a way or another. The government is smart. It is ironic however, that the more i learn about the Singaporean context, the more i feel disgusted at the conformity that has been instilled. I do not want to blend into the background and be doing what everyone else is; i want to evoke change and bring about some form of happiness to people. People, in general. I want to do great things and mighty exploits, i want to have a good life and do good things. It is okay though, 28 more days and i am through! I am beyond excited. I am blessed/gladdened that i am part of this (don't get me wrong), system, rule. It has taught me the notions of conformity, mediocrity, and it has sparked off something deeper within; the immense fear of being that, and hence, a fight to not be it. 

Great thanks to everyone that has been around for this journey, and helped me in one way or another. 2 more days and it is the start, i am beyond excited :-) it is a journey for me to conquer, and God's grace will follow me through I am sure. Cannot wait for post-As because of the adventures that will follow :-) 

Let this be my (and whoever desires), conclusion to this journey in February/March 2016, 

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 

2 Timothy 4:7 

X

Study

Hey pals, so the study break has begun and this is a period where we are expected to study as much as possible and prepare for the A levels with lots of things also in school that we have to commit to :-( it is indeed difficult but my past week has been really productive so all's well! :-) let's take a throwback to before farewell assembly... 

HEHE this was like last week and i got popular vouchers and an organic lollipop from my teachers ! :-) it is really nice to be appreciated and acknowledged for your efforts... However i got news that i am stagnating somewhere and that is sad but i am going to get my engine going NOW NOW NOW! i can do it :-) hahah the thing about hardwork is, even if you don't get the results you want in the end, you will have NO regrets... and isn't that the most important thing? To be at peace with yourself. for me, it is.. don't wanna be a maxine hong kingston.... jk 

last week was dinner with jkparty-for-twice-a-week week! this was the pic taken before we saw a really fat boy that was suffering from childhood obesity but who cares just leave him alone :-D 

FAREWELL ASSEMBLY 

i guess this was the highlight of last week because after 2 gruelling years of jc life i am finally OUT! okay not really, but formal education in the jc system is officially over, just gotta translate it to the A levels and slay it and reap its fruits at the end of the day! :-D there were so many heartwarming things that had happened during farewell, be it from the videos that the teachers made to the small gifts that they had assembled, it was really nice and i appreciated every single one of them even some of them were rather pretentious in my opinion ;-D HAHAHA but who cares right everyone just wants to be nice and happy vibes on the last day of school! :-D 

Fav cuteT notebook!!!! using it for GP notes now please impart skills to me :-) 

Class friends! thanks for the past 2 years, though our paths didn't cross since the beginning of j1, i am glad for the each unique friendship that we have managed to forge ultimately :-) <3 here's to many more years ahead!!! 

Football gals!!! Thanks for always being my safe haven -- i know i can rest and relax whenever i am around you guys, esp during the tiring PW intensive period last year. CCA was really smth i looked forward to (besides watching criminal minds when mr lim is not in class) because i could really relax, be myself, and have fun :-) JC would not have been the same (i am very sure) if i had joined another cca. thanks a new skill and precious friends :-) <3 

this is the true epitome of 'one family unbroken'. HAHAHA though we only became (quite) close as a group this year, i feel like i've known you guys forever. thank you for (i wish i could say always, but for the times we have been together), there for me and there to make me laugh and actually have legit light hearted conversations that i can bring around with me for the whole day when the going gets tough... and also the weekly gardens sessions (which lasted for 3 fridays... HAHA) but it was still good and a splendid break from everything :-) <3 

aaaaaaaaand, of course, thank you M for always being there for me. my hiding place, comfort, and strength :-) thank you for being here with me through and through this whole JC journey... it would have been different without you, i don't know if it is in the good or bad way... because of the trauma in j1... BUT regardless, i seriously wouldn't have done it any other way. here's to more adventures love :-) <3 

OKKKK that's enough for sappy shit hehe i went out with my IJ pals on sunday!!! we celebrated cherlyn's 18th birthday and had a good catch up sesh with each toher :-) 

basic break down of the night: 

nihon mura -> jumped around and took pics -> dessert 

HAHAHA i hate nihon mura sushi but i realized it is the perfect place to spam salmon sashimi because everything is so cheap! just pray before you eat and don't spam so much because microorganisms can get into your stomach and kill you :-( 

Outfit for the night, #ootd, #ootn new look shirt and some random black hw jeans from i think f21 and my trust emericas... next to me i have cher's present :-D 

Happy birthday cher!!! though i doubt you'll ever see this because you're such a noobcake at technological stuff.... thanks for always being here for me and you are always somewhat i care and look out for because youre so nice and it makes me sad seeing you taken advantaged of sometimes :-( I LOVE U SO MUCH!!! u are my fav indian 

on wednesday, (13 oct'15) milton and I marked our 35th month!!! one more month to 3 years with this noobie :-) we went for dinner at real food and i decided to try smth new for once and i settled with some mushroom noodles that tasted just like mee pok but with mushroom spam????? it was really good though :-) milton had the same old mushroom aglio... so boring....... -_- buut it was a good dinner and always a good one with Milbabe because he is a babe 

And this is me now: (taken in real time) 

Press on friends!!! take care and take heart :-) X 

An open letter to the boy that loved me first --- Happy Birthday!

It was M's birthday last Saturday (26th Sept) and i decided to bring him out for a little walk!!! :-P M warned me previously about surprise parties and bringing his friends along etc etc because he's not into that whole surprise thing... so i was like okay.... how do i make this day special then??? I also did not know what gift to get him and i moved and varied from a pullover to a laptop sleeve to a leather pouch and finally to a phone case that i got him!! :-) I am SO glad that he likes the present because it was really a wild card and i wanted to get him smth functional and practical :-) 

I finally came to the conclusion, a few days before Sat, that i don't have to think of anything particularly exciting or whatsoever because what matters would be the company and the vibes that are present right? :-) people remember feelings, emotions, the heat of the moment. We went to watch Fight Club at the starbucks at Robertson Quay and M was completely screwed over by the movie... it is a good movie though so i'll definitely recommend everyone to check it out! :-) especially if you are into the whole anti-capitalism and anti status quo thing.... (THE STATUS IS NOT QUO) 

Here's M and the Pooh bear balloon I got for him :-D 

Here's M while we walk to TCC @ idontevenknowwherebutitrocksandwegothereallthetime 

Here's M reading the letter I gave to him :-D 

Here's M and the phone case I gave to him :-D "my phone is now protected!"

Here's M and the food we ordered :-D 

Here's the food that we ordered! :-D 

We spent around $80+ and we had Mentaiko scallops and Truffle fries for apetizers and had baked rice (curry one for myself, and seafood one for M) and we had a banana milkshake :-D 

What's a blogpost without me? :-D 

Dear M,

"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn --- is to love, and be loved, in return." 

Thank you for teaching me that --- it is never easy to be fearless and selfless, to love, neither is it easy to be vulnerable, to disappointments, shocks and betrayal, to be loved. Yet, despite the risks, the challenges and the possible failure, you taught me how to give way, release control and place faith in something that i have absolutely no control over; the emotions of another. Thank you, because indeed that is the greatest thing I've learnt in this past 3 years of knowing you, precious being. 

Never lose sight, never lose heart of who you are and who you want to be. You have the greatest potential and capacity to do whatever you set your heart out to do. So what if you fail what people expect of you? You have not lose yourself and NOBODY, not even myself, can take that from you. Understand, understand that it's okay to upset people, it's okay not to meet expectations but always remember to love yourself, and appreciate yourself for who you are, and above all, to love me!!! and to appreciate me for who i am! (JK!!!!!) :-D 

Finally, i thank God that you will have the best year yet and may you grow in wisdom and favour with both God and men. I thank God that you will lead an enjoyable life and may only good things happen to you. Thank you for being a source of comfort and strength amidst the chaos of the world, you are indeed so cool. Thank you for making the world a less depressing one for me and I've said it before, and I'm going to say it again that, 

"the universe is twice as big as we think it is, and you're the only one that made the idea less devastating" 

Happy birthday M, I love you more than words can say X 

Past few weeks in minutes

Short post ahead because 2 weeks ago (prelims week) was rather mundane but i still managed to do some exciting things in the mean time!!! my chronological skills are completely off today so i apologise in advance :-P 

I've got my prelim results back last and this week and i made significant improvements :-) i am really thankful for it, thank you JESUS and i hope it will be an upward trend from now on!!! I just want all of my friends to do as well as i do during A levels and all of them to be able to go to wherever they want to, that'll simply be the sweetest thing :-) 

Anyway! I met shal last week to get M's birthday present ! Shoutout to her for being willing to meet me and spend her whole afternoon/night with me to get it :-) settled on a phone case by FABRIX which M wanted like a few months back... he really liked it and i am really glad :-) Had dinner at genki with shal and we ordered lots of food :-D it is so nice to meet my secondary school friends because they are so funny and they make the day so much better for me because of the chill i get :'-) Appreciate them so much!!! 

This was the other prominent thing that happened... that i remember... Went to celebrate Jel's bday (BELATED TTM) with dinner at nakhon! we spent only 55$ on the feast and that was such a steal.. i rmb eating until my stomach almost burst :-P bought a cake for jel and we shared it hehehe happy 18th jel!! stop acting like a baby because u are not :-)  

The haze has been really bad lately :-( take care of yourself guys!!! Here's M and I with a mask and hiding from the haze! I've been wearing specs a lot lately because i do not want the haze to mess up with my eyes (tb to promos last year :|) !! But i've recently been wearing contacts more because i realize it will be such a waste if i don't :-( ANYWAAAAY, bottom line is: take care of yourself guys because the weather is really horrid lately :-( wear your masks if you want to!!!