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I want to support young girls who are in their 20s now and tell them: You’re not just imagining things. It’s tough. Everything that a guy says once, you have to say five times.

You

Measurements ----

One flicker of the eyelid glare at the person opposite the room
Two ounces of wanting to get to know him
Three seconds of ponder --- "Is it okay to follow someone you do not know?"
Four days of non-stop checking for a follow back
Day Five the follow back came
Six hours of non-stop bragging, of happiness, smitten
Seven days of sadness --- over a lover already gone, too quick, too soon
Day Eight a message came! "Hey are you alright?"
Nine weeks of online messaging before a "text me maybe?" was struck
Ten kilograms of feelings now already invested, but things are not always smooth sailing, then she thought he found someone else
On the Eleventh week, she stopped replying. "I wouldn't like it if someone got into the way!"
Twelfth week flew past; separate lives now, another almost lover, gone too quick too soon. "I would have treated you right", she recalls as she remembers you saying you are sad every night over a love gone, too quick too soon.

Review

It has been one week of J2 and I am feeling good / brilliant about it! I have learnt a lot --- both in terms of the academic aspect as well as about life as a whole. I went home with a friend yesterday and learnt the blessings I have in my life from him. I learnt that sometimes life don't work out for us the way we want it to and the only way to go about it is possibly to just simple accept. Acceptance, a noun, a simple 3 syllabic word and yet, so difficult to master, so tough to realize. Sometimes, all we have to learn is to take life one step at a time, and to accept whatever comes over way and do our duties to the best. Everyone have to learn and internalize that the only person I ever have to answer to is myself. I was so shaken and filled by what my friend has to say in the short 10 minute ride together, I felt a shift of perspective, I felt the happiness of comfort and the familiarity yet distance of it --- like an old friend that will take you back however many times you screw up.

 The first day of school gave me a taste of what I have for this year and I now understand the idea of "one test a week". Not complaining or anything, but just listing basic factual aspect. Fully aware that it gets tougher, but I will emerge much more mentally stronger.

Next week is going to be really exciting, though! With the upcoming open house which I urge any 16 / 17 year olds who just completed their O levels and have gotten their results (and for some reason may be reading this space) to join us! It will definitely be a fun filled day and it will be good! Also have many upcoming games as well as tests coming up, and I sense next week and subsequent to get busier :s which means that I might not have enough time to come unto this space, even at all. I definitely will try! I will miss writing too much ---- even about stupid life things that possibly no one cares about. I also am afraid that I will have no time to spend with Milton, but I will make some! Just want to excel and do really well this year, and I am still beyond excited.

X

A day later ---- 2014 to 2015

I wanted to make this post yesterday (Or should I say last year? I will stop with the bad jokes I promise) but I was having too much fun to be bothered.. I stayed home yesterday and took a "quieter" approach to New Year's Eve celebration this year, but the noise and vibrancy within was so much more. I played tennis with my church friends in the morning; had so much fun trying to get it --- tennis is a real sport.. yknow how there are some sports that are fake? e.g. bowling... I don't know how it makes your stamina better... or you more fit. It's more like a mind game!! I used to think tennis was not tiring, but it is super tiring and I had fun trying to get my tennis skills (Or lack of it) together. It was pleasant to say the least, the company made up for the bad skills so no complaints there! Met Milton after that and we wanted to watch either Horrible Bosses 2 or some other cool movie e.g. Night at the Museum 2, but the timings and all weren't in our favour (actually they were fine, but M wanted to gym at 6 and me being the ever obliging and fun-loving girlfriend I am, I decided to give in to no-movie so that he can gym.....) So we walked around after that and had fun passive shopping and we also had good pasta and a huge carrot cake. It was fun and the company was 10/10. I got to love this boy.

We said goodbye at about 6++ and I made my way home, got food and started a mini party with my sister, the New Year's Eve countdown on TV was beyond disappointing but it was fun to spend the last few hours of the day laughing! I also read a bit and tumblr-d a bit, thought about what I want to achieve by the end of this year and I am beyond excited! I am going to be a better person, if not for myself, for the people that love and care about me --- I am going to be a better person for them because they don't deserve any less.

This year is also the year I am meeting the "great A levels monster" (Okay, I said it) and though I am worried, I am sure this is still going to be a good year. Of rested increase --- me taking a ride on Grace Express. A year of refinement, a year where I am going to know God in a way like never before. I can't wait! It was the same God back in O levels, it is the same God now. He has done it before, and He will do it again. He will carry me through.

"There is faith proved of more worth than gold,

So refine me, Lord, through the flames." 

X