mandatory new years post

2013 had been such a blur, it took on the speed of the bullet train blasting thru the midnight fog because the train driver overslept for his shift. however it did not bother me how fast the year flew past as i didnt want 2013 to be drag either. i dealt with many things and got over myself this year, i'd like to believe that i have became a better person. i am still at it though, better is never enough. 2013 had taught me many things, i've grown closer to God and saw Him a bit more than i did the year before 2013; 2012. 2012 seemed so long ago now, everything is such a blur. if people can only realise that every day of their lives is just going to slither past before they even know it, maybe they would dedicate it to serving the one of the higher intelligence, which is God himself who so love all of us.

it is inevitable to talk about resolutions in this post. never have i been an avid creator of new year resolutions simply because i dont believe in them. i believe in the fact that anyone and everyone can change who they want to be and set out goals they want themselves to achieve at any point of their lives. new years day is just another day. however i chanced upon a photo yesterday and decided to make that my new years resolution. i'm going to learn to love myself more, come to terms with myself over certain aspects of things i never think i can and also be a better person on a whole; however controversial 'better' can be.

i spent the last day of 2013 with the person i spent the year loving. it was great despite squeezing through the sock smelling crowd and also the smell of nose piercing cigarettes stench. despite having to stand all the way back, and catching a (possibly better) view of the fireworks and after which having to squeeze with the whole of singapore to get to the mrt station, i still wouldnt want it any other way. here's to another year of greatness, and i hope all of you people reading this would have a year as splendid as the one i know i will have.

Mission

It's been long since I've last written here. Been really busy with work these days and just the other day, I broke down (not really HAHA) because of the overwhelming commitments from everywhere. Felt that I was neglecting my friends. Felt that I wasn't spending enough time with everyone. So, I've decided. I might want to stop working after this week, but I'm not entirely sure. Work is fun, the chefs are mean on the whole but stress always drives people nuts right? In an attempt to morph into a better person, I've started practicing looking at a single person from different perspectives. An example would be this really horrendously behaved chef at my work place. I saw a wedding ring on his finger the other day. In a split second, he wasn't the annoying chef I know anymore. Instead, he is a caring father and a loving husband. However, he had to agitate me even more after, and now I just wish he knows the feelings shared are mutual, he hates me and I hate him too. No problem, no hard feelings there. 

I choose my words carefully, I try to slot in phrases like "for you" when speaking to someone. It is somewhat supposed to evoke a feeling of specialty and compliment because the everyone lacks so much of attention from everyone. simple words like these (as if) scream out, hey, I don't know you but I care and as of now, you're important to me. Then I realised no one bothers and that leads me to the next point. I was rather annoyed the other day because of different people (strangers) and my inferiority complex started working up. What would they think of me? I thought and concluded almost in the same second that I didn't have to care, because people hardly even think nowadays. 

However life is still good. It's Christmas and I'm at a family gathering now. I've work tomorrow and a party the day after, following with a date with my beloved best friend and more commonly known, my boyfriend. 

So in love, still in love 

Winona forever

When Johnny saw Winona for the first time he was 26 and she was 18. They were every adolescent’s dream - he was a teen idol and she was little more than a teenager. They knew of one another through their movies but they met in person at the premiere of Great Balls of Fire, Winona wore white and was in the hall drinking a Coke. “It was a classic glance,” said Depp, “like the zoom lenses in West Side Story, and everything else gets foggy.” “It wasn’t a long moment – echoed Winona - but it was suspended.” 

 They met again several months later at Johnny’s ‘home’ at the Chateau Marmont and they talked about their mutual love of Catcher in the Rye and the soundtrack from The Mission. A week or so later their union was blessed during their first official date, by the LSD guru, Timothy Leary, who, just like in a screenplay of a dark rom-com, was the godfather of "I have never had a boyfriend and I stay at home with my mum and watch old movies" Winona and the idol of the Beat Generation "I finished trying out all the drugs there were at 14" Johnny. 
Shortly after that she had a ring on her finger and he had “Winona forever” tattooed on his biceps.

She said things like: "When I met Johnny, I was pure virgin. He changed that. He was my first everything. My first real kiss. My first real boyfriend. My first fiancé. The first guy I had sex with. So he’ll always be in my heart. Forever. Kind of funny that word."  
He responded with: ”I’d die for her. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know, I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill myself. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself.” Or: “Believe me, this Winona Forever tattoo is not something I took lightly…Her eyes kill me”.